PRESENT

I am on my last day up here in Kelowna with Bobby and I hate to leave him, but it is time to go. He has made me extremely happy and proud. He has handled himself with grace and strength in a very hard time in his life. My girls had a wonderful Thanksgiving with there Aunts, Uncles, and cousins. They also spent a couple of days with their grandmother. They enjoyed themselves completely. Family is so terribly important that sometimes you take it for granted.I would like to remind everyone not to. Your life is more complete with family. Friends are as equally important and hard to replace. It is always nice to reconnect with friends you have had in the past. They are good for your soul. It reminds you of the great times in your past. The laughter and the tears that make you the person you are today. So in that respect I would like to thank all of you, that make me complete, and have given me the strength to move forward. Life like Mike would always say is GOOD.

PRESENT

Today was one of those days you just wanted to end. My brother Greg came out of surgery at 7:30 this evening. He went in at 11:30 this morning. I am very proud of the strength he showed all morning. It is very hard to not know what they are going to find. They removed the tumor and did the Whipple surgery. They did not have to remove the pancreas at least not all of it. I will know more tomorrow. I love my brother very much so today was a very hard day.

PRESENT

It has been a long time since I have posted. There is a reason for that it is because of some of you. I write this blog for so many reasons. One of them is because it takes away some of the pain that is so deep inside of me. It makes me feel good, and I can purge out the bad shit inside that eats away at me. Yes it is true that I write the bad stuff, but let me let you know in no way shape or form do I want you to feel sorry for me. I don't feel sorry for me, why should you. I am just trying to piece my life back together without my right arm. Mike and I were a team now I am flying solo. It wasn't by choice and by loosing him it hasn't relieved me of my burden, because I had no burden. I had a best friend, lover, a confidant who played the game with me so well. I am going to continue to play the game just like Mike would have wanted me to. We talked in great lengths in the 5 years he was trying to live his life to the fullest. He wanted me to go and have a life he didn't know I was going to be on the same playing field that he was on.

So for those of you who want to judge me about how fast I am moving on, step in my shoes and see how fast you would run. I was going to stop my blog for the all the wrong reasons. If you don't like how I am living my life stop reading my blog. Remember it is for me. I will never get over the loss of MY MIKE. You can bet I am not going to let him down. I say hi to him all the time. In Alaska he and Jim were two mountain goats on top of a glacier were no animals were suppose to be. Monli and I laughed and say hi to them both. Then in Canada he was the black bear outside my window that scared Bobby and I both. When I was out on a bogey board in Kauai he managed to surprise me again when I saw this big brown shadow swimming by me. I thought it was a shark. Scared frozen all of a sudden this big sea turtle raised his head up to say hello. I just said hey Mike stop scaring the shit out of me. He always had a great cents of humor and still does. So I am going to keep traveling and finding the new things in life he missed.

So to those who follow my blog, because they enjoy it please stay tuned. Now for the people who want to judge me it is time to get out of my life, because I am not going to stop living on the grounds I don't live up to your standards. Go live your own life I promise I will not JUDGE YOU.

Present

I am on the plane to Kawaii. Haven't really felt well to much stress. I hope that this will calm my nerves down. Just to be with my girlfriends at Lisa's house with no cares or responsibility might be nice. I will deal with all the doctors when I get back. Hope everyone else is doing well. I did manage to use Mikes points to bump up to first class. I will say hi to him when I get in the clouds. This should be he and I.