PRESENT

I just got back from a amazing road trip to watch Bobby play real hockey. Cindy and I packed up and headed north on Thursday. The scenery up here is so unbelievable, that I couldn't take it all in. Around every turn it was more and more breath taking. The first stop was Radium were the hot springs and spa was located. Yes they do have healing powers. Cindy was also so great at letting me purge my emotions. She was my own private psychologist that she just listened without judging or commenting. She let me cry when I needed to and made sure we had plenty of laughs and relaxation. Bobby had his first game in Invermere which he had 2 goals and 1 assist. One of the goals was the game winning goal they won 6 to 2. His father must have been the wings on his skates. I now how proud he would have been and is. We enjoyed lovely messages and soaked in the hot springs until Saturday. We traveled through little towns and ate at quaint restaurants. We ended up in Crestin were Bobby's next game was to be played. I felt like a Roady following the bus from town to town. He had another great game they won 5 to 2 and he had two assist. Crestin we stayed in a Motel were everyone sat in the u shaped parking lot and had a cocktail like white trash with money very bizarre. We had stopped at fruit stands great cheese shops and bakery's. We hit winery's for good wine and butcher shop for Italian meats. I know how to do white trash right. We had a blast. So today we traveled back to Peachland paradise in itself. Thank you Mike for making our travels safe, blessed with beautiful weather and scenery. I love you, you would be so proud.

PRESENT

I made it to Kelowna Saturday night and have enjoyed every minute. We have had dinner together every night. I cleaned Bobby's room today didn't mind a bit. I just love having him around me. Cary and Cindy have been great for him. It is a home life that is missing ever since Mike left us. He has been really bad at keeping up with his homework, but I think he will turn himself around now. He just needed me to light a fire under his ass. My life is never going to be as fulfilled as it was, but I will have to learn all over again how to focus on my future. One day at a time is my new motto. I will tell you it is harder and harder each day to swallow the lump in my throat, or to fight away the tears that appear out of nowhere. Some how I will learn one day at a time. Mike I think about you every day and cry every night. I miss you so much. Good night honey.

Moments

Well I am on my way to Anchorage to spend the day before taking my flight to Kelwona. Monli left a couple of hours before me and on accident took my passport. Luckily she realized it and is going to leave it at Princess baggage claim, or else I wouldn't get into Canada. I had a great trip on the cruise thanks Monli for taking me your a good friend. I can't wait to see Bobby I just got off the phone with him. I found out he has been fighting quite a bit. He isn't playing tonight because of a game misconduct. I hate to complain about the same thing over and over, but I do miss Mike how could I not. I talked to Jenni this morning she had just arrived in Chicago to visit Jeff. They spend way to much time apart. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder, just more painful. I met a lot of couples on this cruise that had been married much longer than Mike and I. All I could think of was it should have been us. We were perfect so compatable. Oh well life goes on without him. Love you honey always will.

Moments

Oh my God the territory up here is unbelievable. Today were in Skagway. Gods country. We took a helicopter to the Glaciers. Monli and I got to sit up front because of our weight. We were able to see everything. I kept on asking the pilot if we were going to see any animals. He informed me that most likely no, maybe mountain goats if anything. So on top of the glacier I told Mike let me know your there by showing up as a goat. Sure enough the pilot just after we took off to come back pointed out two goats in the side of the mountain in the middle of nowhere. OK what do you think? Could it been Mike and his dad letting me know everything is OK. Maybe! The weather has been unbelievable. I have a sun blister on my lip from laying in the sun to much. I am pretty sure I am not in the Caribbean. Thank you Mike. Isn't he amazing. He just wants me to think about him all the time. Well it is time for a glass of wine. Won't be able to post for 2 days at see. Chow!

Present

I have been really enjoying the cruise. It has been very relaxing and we have had beautiful weather. So much for the last 3 days I have been laying out in the sun working on a lovely tan. It is an older cruise but the people we have met are so nice and friendly. A lot of them are from austriallia and Asia. This cruise continues on to Bejing and then on to Singapore. I believe it is around 20 to 30 days. You better enjoy the person you are with. No matter how good of friends you are that is a long time. The food isn't that great not like the Oceana, but it was so geneously paid for by Monli. She is very good to me. I have talked to my kids and they are all good. The scenery on this trip is fantastic if all I see is the view I will be very happy. Only time will heal the deep wound of being without Mike, but I think he is really pulling some strings to have given us this amazing wheather. Thank you Mike your a champ. Juneo today and I don't know tomorrow. Don't know don't care. Oh yea we saw the whales yesterday. That was cool. Maybe touch base tomorrow.

Moments

I just landed in Seattle on my way to Vancouver. The last flight I had a breakdown for no apparent reason. I boarded the plane in Denver rushed to my flight after saying goodbye to my daughter Jenni who I won't see for awhile. I got on the plane had two empty seats next to me got comfortable and lost it. The stewardess hurried and got me a glass of water and tissue. All I could think of was Mike. Where was he, where is he, why did he have to leave me here by myself. It was sinking in I am alone. I cried through the whole flight luckily I could lay down and hide my tears. I need to snap out of it so Monli and I can enjoy the cruise. The one I should be doing with my husband. He would want me to. I think I will be alright maybe I will add vodka to my OJ. Cheers here is to you Mike I love you.

PRESENT

I had a great time in BeaverCreek so much I wanted to move there. Then it started to get cold and I snapped out of it. I would like to spend a long time in the summer there though, because it was so beautiful and the weather is great! Beats 110 in Arizona. I just spent the last 24 hours with my girlfriend Linda down in Denver which I really enjoyed. Saw the boys and her mom and dad I just love. Tonight I am going to have dinner with my niece Jessy, my nephew Chris his wife San and my ex sister-in-law Barb who are great fun people to be around. This will be Jenni and I last night to spend time with before she moves on to Chicago. I will miss her. Tomorrow I will fly to Vancouver to meet up wife Monli for the Alaskan cruise she is taking me on. It is her birthday today I should be taking her. Happy Birthday Monli Jenni and I will take care of her at the spa she loves that. I will post pics later when I get to my computer at Bobby's. Can't wait to see him. The house is for sale hope it sells when I am gone. Have to think positive. Mike is always on my mind and I have gone through some tough times this trip, but Jenni has been great letting me talk it out. Plus Linda lent me her shoulder last night which was good too. I will try to post when I am on the cruise Bon Voyage.

MOMENTS

Jenni and I just walked over to Starbucks and got coffee.We spent the day in Vail yesterday I love just hanging out over there. everyone just seems so relaxed and happy. I did break down a couple of times just because I am so unsure about my future. I know I have a lot of family and friends, but it is not my best friend, lover, and confidant in life. I will never have that again and it is starting to hit me hard. I know when I get to Kelowna it will be better Bobby reminds me so much like Mike. He is doing great in his hockey, and Alex seems to like her college. I know Jenni would just like to get settled. Just take one day at a time.

PRESENT

The first day Saturday Jenni drove 11 out of the 12 hours we drove. We stopped in Grand Junction spent the night. We enjoyed the senery coming up the mountain. We got in at around 10:30 and relaxed a little with my mom sister Debbie and brother Gary. Around 3:00 we went to the Octoberfest up in Beaver Creek. Bands were playing people were walking around and tents were set up with a lot of great food. Then we ran into about 15 NhL players Jenni chatted with a few of the guys she new one was Sidney Crosby. they were from all different teams. We then headed for dinner in Edwards. Colorado is so beautiful and the weather is so wonderful this time of year. Bobby played his first game last night they won 8 to 4 he had two assist and ended up plus 4. He is really enjoying being there. After the last 5 years he totally deserves every bit. He still misses his father very much and will take a lot of time. I wish I could have called him today. You and I were so great together always. Night Mike. XO

Moments

I am at the doctors office getting treatment. Sometimes people forget I am stage IV too and I am trying to get as much out of life as I can. I take small moments to cry about losing Mike, but the last thing he would want me to do is lay around wondering what it could have been. He enjoyed living just as much as I do and I don't have the answere of what is going to happen next. My children are doing great like they should be in there lives. We will always love and miss Mike. We respected him and cherished him. He is in a good place and in my heart I know that. He hasn't tried coming back to visit as much as I have tried to get him to. I love you Mike always.