Alex

Yesterday was better. I walked Queeny with Penny. I had therapy which helped me a lot. We discussed the actions in my life that were negative with my daughter. She made me realize that I should not be there to fix her. She is a grown woman and the choices she makes should be her choices. Not so easy for a Mom that wants to leave her children in perfect situations when I leave. That is the thing with knowing your going to die. You feel this overwhelming respond ability to fix everything. You have to realize the world is not perfect and some things should just be left alone.
Alex and I went to the movies and out to dinner last night and we talked not screamed. I will agree it was much nicer. I'm just a mom who loves her children very much.

Not a real good day today. Couldn't get out of bed. Found out I'm anemic and it's starting to take its toll on me. Did end up walking a couple of miles, then I had to eat some red meat just to feel better. I have a couple of friends that are not doing well with this cancer. My girlfriend is battling a rare form of sinus cancer she has been getting bad news left and right. Then just found out a friend of my daughters and our family at the age of 27 found out he has testicular cancer with mets to the abdomen. Ok this is getting out of hand when are they going to destroy this disease once and for all. It's running ramped.

I watched the fifth game of the playoffs last night Blues/Blackhawks with some of my friends. We had a great time all though the Blues lost.. Had more beer than I should and have to say not all that motivated right now. I had a doctors appointment this past week and everything seems to be stable which yeah is a good thing. I am anemic so I asked why. He said because of disease.. It seems so graphic like those little fucking cancer cells are eating my good beautiful blood. Really though I feel great. Penny and I are going to get up and hike before the day gets away from us. I've been planting quit a bit of new landscaping. Today I'm going to plant a vegetable garden. I know how exciting can I get. I tried being the wild girl again but it doesn't work for me anymore. I love the most to be outside with nature it sounds corny. I would like to go see my grand kids soon. Maybe I'll take a drive to Minnesota.

Go old hockey

Tired

Some times I wake up and can't remember what I'm suppose to be doing or what day it is. This was one of those days. I didn't realize it was Thursday until this afternoon. Thursday is my creative writing class. I was so upset to have missed my 2 hour class. I had nothing else pressing and the dates are on my fridge. From here on out I need to wake up look at what day and date it is and move forward. Now I'm tired and it's only 5 pm. I guess I'll have my bad days.

Things are changing

Yesterday I helped my son start a new adventure. He became a Brand manager for a company called Nerium. It's a company that I have used and am going to continue using. Something we are all concerned with aging cream and a cellulite cream. If anything can tighten up this skin I'll be happy. If you want to get any info on it contact Bobby at http://bwbrown.nerium.com/. Or at robertbrown1.nowsender.com. He can fill you in.
I'm pretty excited about the goals Bobby has set for himself. He studied for his personal training license and recently received that. He is going to school full time and transferring to Mo. State this coming up fall to finish his studies and play college hockey.
Alex is finding her way having been recently laid off from her job in Minnesota they closed the office. I think it was bitter sweet. She really wasn't happy living there,but I think she was ok with the job. Now she is in a dilemma . She isn't quite sure where she would like to live and work. Maybe Arizona, St. Louis, or maybe California. She is very open to new ideas. She is an attractive, smart, and a fast learner.
Jenni had a little taste of being back in business when she was back out in LA helping a friend out with the wedding business. I'm sure her travel home today is very exciting to her getting back to those to precious grandchildren of mine Walker and Georgia.  So fun and loving.
I have a lot of check ups next week, but to be honest with you I feel great and really am headed in the right direction.

Back and feeling good

I have changed so much in the last four years. My life is rich and flavorful. My children are heading in new directions and so am I. I started new adventures that is putting me in a much better place. It was time to fix me and by God I think it is actually starting to work. I go to therapy, that really helped, and I just started a creative writing class. My health is so far stable. Pretty good when most stats have you dying in a couple of years. I'm still hiking with my beautiful dog Penny Lane. I live a healthy life style with a drink every once in a while. Yes life my dear is getting better. I will always miss the love of my life. He just makes me more determined to reinvent myself into a more kinder soul.

I'm back

I'm alive who is still reading?