PRESENT

It has been a couple of days since my last post. I haven't felt that great my back has really been acting up. I started on my closet only to end up with a bigger mess. Mike has been moving around a little bit more. I make him walk around the back yard. He has been gaining rounds each day, he started with 3 and now he is up t0 10. Sounds simple but it is not. I received the paperwork for the sale of the store, I will sign them and send them to Jenni. Yesterday I went for treatment. It isn't so bad and it could be be worse. I walked around an outdoor mall just to feel like I was still with the living. My girlfriend Monli called me the other day still pushing me to go to Hawaii with her. I did say that probably July would be a good month. That was all she needed a green light. I got a call back that the calender for May 31st - June 4Th was best and now we are going. I wonder what happened to July? Anyway I am very excited to get away, just her and I, I don't even know what island we are going to. Luckily Mike is OK with the plans, I am trying to get him to bring Bobby over to LA after I get back to see some of his friends before he leaves for Canada. Today I need to start working on straighting my clothes. Doctor G. prescribed me some more pain killers to help more with the burn in my spine. I sure hope it works!!!!!

PAST

Bobby was just a toddler, but a very intuitive one. He would go to all my doctor appointments with me and sit there very polite. I think that is one of the things that gives Bobby so much compassion for other people. The double mastectomy was decided with reconstruction starting immediately after. Dr. A allowed Dr. H to be in surgery to step in right away after the double mastectomy. Everything detail was scheduled and put in place. Never in my wildest dreams did I think it was going to go like it did. I kissed my husband and children goodbye as they wheeled me down to surgery. The majority of my family and friends were there. It took over 8 hours. I will never forget how I felt when I came out. LIKE A MAC TRUCK HIT ME! I was in so much pain to much to cry. They couldn't get me out of anaesthesia fast enough and get the pain killers in. No one can ever prepare you for massive pain, and there is no comfort that anyone can bestow on you to make it help. Time is the only thing you can wait for.