PRESENT
Half way through my busy day I started to feel uncomfortable. I couldn't figure out why I was feeling this way. I came home fixed myself a really good meal, pork loin, mash potatoes, and broccoli with cheese sauce. It was early but shortly after eating I just fell asleep. I woke up when Bobby called. Then I realized my phyentenal patch wore off. I am a f--king dependent. That is the nice way of saying addict. When is the medicine I take going to heal my bones enough that I don't have pain. I hate this shit. I made my doctors appointment for the 3rd of September. The day before I go to Denver, Alaska, and hopefully Kelowna. I will be gone about 3 weeks. I hope I feel good I would really like to experience some new stuff. Last time we went to Denver my sister's and niece had such a great time at an amusement park. We ran around like little kids being very physical. I hope nothing holds me back this time. I want to play again. Mike I missed you today you would have loved dinner. Night Mike.
Jeanette,
ReplyDeleteI was wondering about that phyentenal patch and whether or not you had tried going without it. Was your discomfort a result of withdrawal or that your pain is still existent without it ? I realize there are so many variables put into the entire situation that it might be difficult to determine the cause and affect relationship. What a conundrum this all is. I know it's difficult to focus on the positive when you have that negative input always tugging at you, but I hope the positive is a stronger force and that you will overcome. I hope we can all triumph over the devils that may plague us. Just look at how you climbed to the top of that wall. Now Stand on the TOP of it, steady as she goes, and enjoy the view from every angle. XXXXXOOOOOP.S. Did you notice yours and Mike's reflections in the window behind you when you were in Italy ?
I think the bones are just not healed enough so they press on nerves. Then the chemical in the patch when it starts to wear off screams out to me. Isn't a form of morphine? I saw the reflection nice to remember his arm around me.
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