PRESENT

Tonight I was realizing that 2010 was coming to an end. What a shitty year to live through. January I was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. I had to go through 5 weeks of unbearable radiation treatments. Endure excruciating pain from the tumors that had invaded my bones. All along watch my best friend and lover die a dreadful death. Only to find out that I had to learn how to live the rest of my life alone. Then I saw tonight the most celestial skies taken by the Hubble telescope and realized those were the same skies I have been seeing ever since Mike died. Maybe there is a more beautiful universe out there that we go to after life. Just maybe it isn't that bad in the after life. I have to believe that God is the universe and were just passing through time to one day be with him in Heaven. It sure makes going through each day and night a little easier. It is a blessing that my children will be with me this Christmas. I'm glad I finally get what Mike was trying to tell me when I wanted him to travel the world. He just wanted to be with me and his kids. Mike you were always much smarter than I. Please make 2011 a kinder and gentler year for everyone. My journey with you was so beautiful I will never be able to replace those moments. I can only wish that new moments will be as blessed.