PRESENT

What is it about 3:00 in the morning that one wakes up. This is the time I have been waking up and I can't get back to sleep. I have weened myself off Ativan 12 days ago and I was so excited, but the last couple of days 3:00 am has been the norm. I do have a lot on my plate. One is that it looks like I have to be out of my house by the first part of February. The decision of where am I going to live is now the Question. I have 3 choices in my book. I could stay here in Arizona were my doctors are, move to St. Louis were my family is, or move to California were the majority of my friends live. I am leaning towards the later California. I would still be close to my doctors, my chances of getting a job again are greater, so I'm not just sitting around. I can still see my friends here in Arizona when I come for treatment once a month, and my Mom I could see more. My greatest support system is in California. Not that I don't have great support in St. Louis and Arizona I do. I have asked my children and 2 out of 3 would like to see me in LA. Alex of course would love it if I would live in St. Louis. I just don't like the winter months. I'm really not crazy about winter. I learned that when I was up in Canada. I talked to one of my girlfriends in Malibu and she is going to look around for some guest houses in the area that have come up for rent. It would be great to have a room with a view. Could I be so lucky, maybe that has changed luck and all. I think I will try to get back to sleep.