I'm back

I am here before you not sure were I stand.
I am not dead, but not quite sure were I stand.  So much has happened since the day I left you. I honestly sit here and wonder what I want to tell you. I will tell you this I'm intoxicated.  I don't feel bad about that it just makes it hard for me to tell you my story. I love my life and what I have of it. My prognosis is always questionable. Fuck me they hate me why won't that bitch just die. Oh does that shock you. You know what shocks me no matter how pro active I am I die just a little bit , not by my choice.      It always hits me with some bulldozer. I'm not going to live forever.

My life is a life that sucks sometimes, and at other times is a little piece of paradise. Just recently I had my grand babies Georgia Jean and Walker Anderson what very Strong names for very strong children.
I have cancer lumerating over me. I'm not happy about it and want to retreat, but it's there and there is really I can do about it. I don't expect you to follow along, but i will be back when I sober up.