Present

I know I haven't written about my past since August of 2010. Maybe it was to hard to look back and reminisce about how great everything was. Don't get me wrong I still have it great it's just another kind of great. I am making a whole new life for myself and I'm not going to let this cancer take me down so here is to the past.

Past

I'm not going to start where I let off, but I will let you know what has happened in my life since Mike passed away. Once again I do want to let you know I'm not an English major. If my grammar is wrong or I use a word in the wrong content so be it.

When Mike died it crushed my world as it had existed. I tried my best to let people think I was OK, but under no circumstance was I. With the health problems I was going through I hid every emotion I could. I would laugh when I wanted to cry. Eat drink and socialize when I wanted to be in a fetal position in bed. Smile when I wanted to beat the shit out of something or someone. Yes I was having a mental breakdown I all I could do was fake it. After the first year I choose to move out of Arizona and try to pull my family back together. I had to learn how to manage my money that was slipping through my fingers. I didn't want to keep throwing it away on trying to fix me. So leaving Arizona was the best move I could make even though I had a lot of friends there I loved.