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PRESENT

Mike, Jenni, and I met with Dr. G on Tuesday. He explained that the pet scan had showed that the cancer had not entered the soft tissue which was good. The bad part was the cancer was through out the skeleton. He said it was treatable, but not curable. They are so polite now they use to say you were terminal. that meant you can live but the cancer will eventually kill you. I was given treatment that day. Zometa once a month to build my bones, Lupron shot once a month to kill my ovaries, and Armidex pill once a day to kill my hormones all this for the rest of my life. Why is it that all the things that would keep you alive side effects would make you feel like you have the flu everyday. The nausea would start immediately. Just when I thought that things couldn't get worse they did. The pain in my bones was getting worse. After the doctors had gone over the scans they decided that radiation was necessary. My C1 tumor was causing the bones to fracture and the T4 tumor was pressing on nerves and causing great pain in my chest. I agreed to the radiation thinking 5 weeks wouldn't be so bad. I had no idea the hell I was about to go through.

PAST

I had a small pea size lump on my left side under my arm and went to my gynecologist to have it looked at. He assured me that it was nothing to worry about and to go home. I even asked him directly are you sure it is not cancer and he did. I waited six months before my mom convinced me to have our family friend who was a plastic surgeon to have it removed. Dr. O also was sure it wasn't cancer so he tunneled in to get it so it wouldn't leave a scar. After all he had done my boob job right before I got married and they were beautiful. Unfortunately he was the one that had to call me with the results of the biopsy. He called around 5:00pm and wanted to know were Mike was, I told him that Mike was on his way home from work. I laughed and told him he really beat me up during surgery and I was black and blue. He told me how sorry he was. I could hear it in his voice that it was no laughing matter. He broke the news to me that I had breast cancer. My mind went blank I never heard another word he said. I remember calling my sister Debbie. I knew I hadn't said anything on the phone because I couldn't. She was at my house within minutes and she lived 30 minutes away. Now how was I going to tell my new husband he was going to have to raise our 2 daughters by himself. My mind raced in so many directions. All I can say was my family saved me and Mike. I was 32 what was I doing with cancer. The fight begins. The reaper was not going to get me not now.