PRESENT

I continued with radiation and chemo. I was losing my hair my taste buds. Both are very good qualities of mine. The nausea was overwhelming and my energy level was depleting. Mike and Bobby were still traveling a lot. They went to Dallas and Vancouver for the Olympics. I felt I was missing out of everything. There were times it really bothered me. Mostly though I could of cared less. I was still trying to work and keep the house running smoothly. Really things were falling apart around me and I couldn't do anything about it. The fantasy camp was coming up that we run which takes a lot of time and effort. Mike seemed now to be failing and having to go to the doctor more. My control was out of control.

PAST

Mike and I had used all our savings and ran up all our credit cards to live on. I was about to graduate and Mike had no job. It was taking a toll on our marriage. We visited all the vortexes in Sedona to try to find a higher power. We were listening to self help tapes to give us some insight. It was becoming desperate. I knew if I had to ask my sister for money I could not be married. I gave Mike a desperate ultimatum to hopefully snap him out of his funk. Get a job or get out. Within a week he was on his way over to California to interview for a job with the Icedogs minor league hockey team. Luckily he got the job. we were moving again. Running away from bills that would always catch up with us. But we were headed in the right direction. Sometimes your most desperate times bring you closer together. Since Mike had no job we had no health insurance. I had not been checked for my cancer for a couple of years now. That bother me, but surviving from day to day was more important, so I thought. We moved back to our old neighborhood and started to put our life back together. It was good to feel secure again. I was abe to spend plenty of time with my kids and I loved every minute of my life.